Our reactions to situations and events in our lives are complex. As we experience the world around us our mind is combing the information for potential danger spots, things that have-are-or will cause pain-anger-fear. When something triggers the danger alarm, say you stub your toe, a chemical reaction runs down your sympathetic nervous system. If we can insert a 90 second pause here, before we respond, we can break free of the control of this chemical influence and choose how we respond. Otherwise, we begin to ascribe meaning to the event by associating it to all the information we have stored in memory about dangers, and look for patterns that this can fit into.
These patterns are our own personal pre-recorded danger records. When we find a record that fits with the situation, we spin it on ourselves enhancing the chemical release in the sympathetic nervous system causing a cascade of cortisol and adrenalin to run through our bodies as we tie this new information to our established painful-angry-anxious record. For example, your toe is throbbing, and you decide that it is because the kids didn’t clean up their mess and you then start thinking of all the other times that they didn’t clean up. Now you’re hooked, and the alarm is spreading. This thought might even trigger other danger records – they don’t take care of our things, they don’t listen, they don’t respect me. At this point you are controlled by your chemically induced emotional response, and likely to overreact. BUT, research suggests that if you put in a pause, 90 seconds, between your perception and your reaction you can break the link.
Breaking the link allows you to decide how you want to interpret the situational information. You can consider other thoughts: I should look where I’m going; or, isn’t it great that the kids were playing so nicely. And, if there is something really wrong, you’re in a better place to constructively deal with the problem because you’re able to think and reason. You might decide that it’s time for everyone to pitch in and clean up, or you might want to give them an opportunity for some ‘overlearning’ by adding extra cleaning to today’s chores.
The really difficult part is not letting those initial thoughts hook into one of your pre-recorded records so that they don’t spin you up. Since the danger buttons are usually on an automatic loop in the default mode of our thinking, we have to actively pulling the breaks to stop it.
Things to try for a 90 Second Break
Thought Stopping:
This seems like a very simple trick but it’s so absorbing that it can stop a panic attack. It’s as simple as counting backwards by 7’s starting from a large number near 100. As you count backward you visualize the numbers and talk yourself through the mental math. This takes up all of your working memory so that you can’t think of anything else for 90 seconds.
Game Apps:
Play a game on your phone that lets you zone out, like Tetris which has actually been shown to reduce intrusive thoughts for those that suffer with PTSD. It’s important that the game you choose does not cause you to get angry or excited. It is just to absorb your attention for 90 seconds.
Mindful Breathing:
If you are already good at focusing on your breath take a “Mindful Moment.” If you haven’t been practicing mindfulness - now is not the time to try it out. Mindfulness is a powerful tool for recognizing what is happening in the present moment and accepting it without judgement, and it’s a skill that has to be developed. As your amygdala is firing warning shots starting to derail your frontal lobe is not the time. Check out www.thebrierpatch.com for more information on Mindfulness Exercises for adults and children.
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Stay Well,
Deanna Beech, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist
