Helping your Family Cope with Social Isolation

No one can predict the future, but we want to.  We’re wired to survive and looking for danger is one of the primary ways we protect ourselves. It’s natural to be thinking, and even worrying, about how all of this is and will affect us. The constant commenting on the news cycles, and the impact of social isolation and business shut downs exacerbates these concerns. 

One week into the shutdown you might be noticing that avoiding contact with others can easily start to feel isolating and depressing. That the worry can easily slip into anxiety that robs us of our sleep and positive energy.  The boredom can lead to irritability and conflict with our loved ones. Being locked down can wear thin on everyone’s nerves, especially for active people. The loss of personal freedoms and autonomy can even feel counter to our culture. 

When faced with these frustrations it’s important to get the bigger picture.  The need to choose to social isolation is not about the fact that you feel fine and don’t want to be bothered.  It’s about how you protect others. 20% of those that have the virus don’t show any symptoms. By socially isolating we are protect yourself, your family and others.

What can Help?

Know the Facts and Share Them Often

Research suggests that clear and reliable information that is communicated on a regular basis helps people feel that they know what is going on and have a course of action that they can get behind. Get credible sources like the updates from the National Institute of Health - https://www.nih.gov/health-information/coronavirus. Communicating this information to your family in age appropriate ways helps to get, and keep, everyone onboard with the plan, especially older kids and teens.  

Making a Family Plan

A shared understanding of what is happening is important because self-chosen isolation is much easier to cope with than externally imposed isolation. Coming together and doing this together is a stronger position. Even if your kids have to do what you say, understanding why benefits their resiliency.  They are helping. By helping them have an age appropriate understanding of what is going on they can accept the increased restrictions, which goes a long way in managing behavior. 

Get Creative and Busy

Boredom and frustration can exacerbate the negative effects of the quarantine, according to the literature. What do you do when you run out of yard work and home improvement projects? We get creative. Like your Grandparents would say, “you’re only bored if you choose to be.”  Do the things that you liked to when you were a kid. Play tag. Make mud pies. Teach the kids pretzel poker. Have a picnic in the living room. Pitch a tent in the backyard.

Let older kids engage in with friends online. There are several free meeting platforms that allow for social engagement. And, the internet has seemingly endless opportunities to learn, connect, and be entertained. Get into a hobby with your middle schooler.  Learn guitar. Do some kitchen science experiments. Build a bookshelf. 

Take Care of Yourself

There is a saying that goes, “If the parents are okay, then everything is okay.”  In order for this to be true you have to remember to take care of yourself. As we look to move into this new normal think through the kind of rhythm that would work best for your family.  Don’t forget to take into consideration the time you need for yourself to recharge.  Build personal time into your equation.  If you’re regular routine includes activities that refill your energy you’ll be able to bring the best you to the situation.  Cardio exercise, meditation, long hot showers, and walking the dog are all examples of activities that refill our mental energy stores.  

Some good resources for meditation and relaxation include the following Apps:
·      Calm - currently running free subscriptions
·      Head space
·      Breathe2Relax - free
·      Mindfulness for Children
·      Ninja Focus - for kids

So, while we can’t predict the future, we can help it by doing the right thing today with the information we have. 

Please feel free to respond below with your comments and questions.

Stay well,

Deanna Beech, Ph.D.
The Brier Patch